‘Listening to Listening’: An Approach to the Study of Narcissistic Resistances (1981)
p. 30 ‘The decision that the analyst takes to remain silent when faced with the narcissistic desire of the patient to make him speak, the decision to interpret over the narcissistic desire of the patient to make him remain silent, the choice of an interpretative content over the content that a discourse determined by the patient might impose, makes the analyst distinct from the patient and from the patient’s narcissistic regulation. The way in which the patient considers the interpretations reveals the fate of this relationship.
We should not forget that in the narcissistic relation the fate of the loved object is to lose its otherness. The overcoming of the narcissistic relation implies that hate has ceased to be the only way in which the patient recognizes the other as such and differentiates himself from the other: Thus love as well can sustain otherness.’